Reflections usually happen around the start of the year which also coincides with my birthday – good timing! This year I’ve been focusing on what I want to be when I ‘grow up’. Contrary to what our kids and teens think, most of us adults are just winging it, and the decisions we make as seniors in high school rarely see us in the ‘career/job’ we thought we’d be in 30 years later. It’s important to keep reiterating this to your senior schoolers – it helps take the stress out of things that your decisions now, are it! They’re not. We get so many goes at creating our own lives and we get so many lives within our one life. As part of my work in the Aged Care Industry one thing that is common in across all conversations with 80 and 90 year olds is that we have so many different lives within our one life.
The good news is if you make bad choices in one part of your life, that doesn’t have to reflect in your next chapter. We get to decide. We get to make choices that change our ‘destinies’ and we get to create our own lives. Another amazing thing to teach our kids. Our choices, lead to consequences that create our life = awesome. One of my favourite sayings goes something like this “If you’re not happy where your life is, get up and change it. You’re not a tree!”. One bad choice may result in some pretty bad consequences but that doesn’t define who you are or who your teen is. Next choice can be better, and so on and so on. Same goes for us and our budgets.. just saying 🙂
But just like anything in life once you’ve made the choice to go in another direction, start a new career, start budgeting better, plan a holiday or whatever your new dream is you need to set yourself achievable and measurable goals. Teach your kids how to set goals. Maybe do some as a family this week before school goes back. Talk about what making the choice to achieve a particular goal will look like in the form of the consequences .. short and long term. And as always I promote doing vision boards. A page with pictures of your dreams on them… then setting your goals, mini and mega, on how you’re going to get there. Eg. Family holiday that will cost $10,000 in 18 months. Well that’s X amount per week we need to save, so in order to do that we will cut x from the budget, declutter our home together then hold a garage sale or Ebay to get rid of it and bring some extra cash into the home (or find extra work, or take on extra clients or shifts, or teens getting jobs or or or the possibilities are endless). Your life, your choices, your consequences remember 🙂
Since I was little I’ve wanted to be a writer. I still do. That hasn’t changed at all. So I write where I can. I get paid to write reports after my assessments. But ultimately my absolute passion is in researching and writing articles, ebooks and books that improve other people’s lives (usually because it improved mine first through learning the hard way). So with that in mind I’m still writing my blogs, I’m still promoting my book Beyond School: Practical Tips for Teens and beginning my next one “How to raise independent, responsible and resilient humans’ (or something like that… haven’t got the exact title yet), and have another venture or two up my sleeve that I won’t jinx by talking about it before it happens. Stay tuned…..
It’s still the first week of January.. first week of the new year.. a clean slate still before us.. what choices will you and yours make this year that require goals to bring about the desired consequences that create the lives you want? Go for it.. you’re all worth it and what a great thing to role model to your kids and teens.
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The kids spoilt me as always for my birthday… all with their own money and minds. Miss 15 got me a massage voucher, Miss 14 a spa pedicure voucher, and Mr 9 a scented candle with diamonte heart band, and Choccies. We went to the movies to see Pitch Perfect 3 and then Chinese Banquet dinner nom nom nom. Have felt the love with all the texts, calls, and posts xo xo xo I’m 35..with a ‘few’ years experience 😉 Thank you for the love, I’ve definitely felt it.
Tis the season… to batten down the hatches parents. School holidays are fast approaching, but first, the last two weeks of school need to be survived! We can do it. Hang on!
We all know what I”m talking about. That last two weeks of term. The tireds. The tanties. The “I just can’t be bothereds” and that’s just us let alone our kids.
You are not alone. Almost every parent of school kids is on the same journey.
5 tips to get you through the next fortnight:
This is the time of year to let a ‘tude or two slide, the time of year to cut your kid some slack, but not if they’re being disrespectful. It’s okay for them to lose their cool, but not at you. You are not a punching bag. Let them cool off in their own way – often hiding in their room or jumping on the trampoline for two hours! Let them know it’s okay to lose it occasionally, but not at others. Teach them how to handle the ‘meltdowns’ of life. They’ll need it as adults too!
This is the busy time of year. We’re in a hurry. Nothing sets teens, and primary school kids off more than having their every move controlled, planned, manouvered and checked. Give them some space.
You don’t have to do everything. There will be carols nights, fireworks nights, award ceremonies, concerts, mini concerts, parades, tree lightings, break up parties etc etc etc You don’t have to attend everything you’re invited to. It’s okay to prioritise what’s important to you and your family, and let everything else slide.
Kids pick up parent’s anxieties. Take an extra 10 minutes at night as you collapse into bed to meditate. Try getting up 10 minutes earlier and meditating of a morning. Long. Deep. Regular breaths are crucial as is remaining grateful – keep that gratitude list replaying in your head. When you’re stuck in traffic, running 10 minutes late for your child’s “insert any activity”, and all the mummy guilt in the world is running through your head and heart.. take a big breath, relax your shoulders and think of some things you’re grateful for. You’ll be late. That’s life.
Over dinner one night get a piece of paper and have each child come up with a school holiday FREE event that you can all do as a family. Their answers may surprise you. Set a date that you WILL do each. Write these on a sheet of paper, put them on the fridge. This gives you all something to look forward to, and reminds you just two weeks to go, you can make it!
Enjoy as much of the last two weeks as you can – swimming carnivals, school discos, carols nights, performance nights/days, awards days/nights, parent teacher interviews, excursions, break up parties etc etc etc.
HANG ON..we’re nearly there, then the real fun begins 😉
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Looking for a book for your teens for Christmas? Check out Beyond School: Practical Tips for Teens HERE
I’m overwhelmed. THANK YOU. Firstly at the amazing response to our recent trip to Disneyland. Seems we appeared in a lot of online media outlet articles and on their pages. Kids were even recognised a few times which has made them feel super special. Then reality hit and we got back, jet lagged, exhausted and my website went missing in action (seems although my domain registrar thought I was paid up I wasn’t and now that’s been rectified we’re back :)).
I have so many articles to write for you I’m a bit overwhelmed with where to start, so thought, I’m just going to start. So here I am, starting.
So here’s a very brief run down of our trip, with much more to come in the next few weeks.
Dreams DO come true. There were happy tears shed for making this trip happen – at the airport, walking through Universal Studios gates, Walking into Disneyland for the first time, Watching the Disneyland Adventure Park World of Colour Display (I bawled), watching Tinkerbell in the Electric light parade, meeting Fantasia Mickey Mouse!, watching Steve Martin host the 50th anniversary of Disneyland video half an hour before we left the park for good and all of us did NOT want to leave Disneyland on the last day, choking back tears. Dreams came true. New ones we didn’t know were experienced.
Another good thing that I did was before we left, a year in advance I told the kids I would pay for most things but they had to pay for their own lunches, souvenirs and extras. This saved me a small fortune and taught them a host of valuable lessons.
We had an absolute ball and would do it all again in a heart beat. I inherited the travel bug from my parents, and my kids are slowly catching it from me – this makes me happy. We travel well together – even after a fortnight sharing beds and being constantly in each other’s space. We’ve even applied for the Travel Guides show on channel 9 – cross fingers, toes and hair follicles for us.
Doesn’t matter where you are, you are there, and kids will be kids! So we had meltdowns (mine and theirs!) and what I refer to as teenage ‘resting bitch face’ moments. When you arrive at YOUR Disneyland and then realise you’re sharing it with 10,000 other people in 30 degree heat, it’s a bit of a shock to the system. That and the strollers. OMG strollers. We HATE strollers now. After 16 hour days, hot days, little sleep, and waiting in queues there were a couple of times where it was all too much for one or three of us, and other times where we went Hurricane Harlow hilarious crazy mode to cope hehe. Hollywood was not what we expected and was a real let down – the homelessness (and homeless men blowing kisses to my 8 year old son and waving him over – thankfully he was head down, walk straight ahead due to our prior warning) and state of the place is a shock (apparently no one but tourists, sales people and the homeless go to Hollywood!). That was really the only bad we encountered so not too bad at all. The bad was outnumbered 1000000 to 1 with the good.
In coming weeks I”ll do some articles with much more specifics on Disneyland, Universal Studios, Travelling with kids, budgeting, budgeting WHILE on holidays (no credit cards allowed), and a host of other things that are on my mind or that you’ve asked for. And I have LOVED getting your messages, thank you so much. If there’s something you’d like me to focus on please send me a message on our Facebook group (and if you haven’t joined, come on over) HERE.
Have an amazing week,
PS: If the kids look tired in this photo it’s because this was our one day at Adventureland, we’d already been there 10 hours and they had milked every second on the rollercoasters and rides having a blast. this was very much a DO day. This is about 8pm at night.. after they let me take this pic they raced off for another hour on the California Screaming rollercoaster (the one you see in the background). I waited on a comfy seat and people watched lol.
Parents, don’t be afraid to be proud of your kids, and especially don’t be afraid to let them know just how proud of them you are. Not for what they do, but who they are. Teach them to be proud of themselves and even more important teach them to be proud of and for their friends and family.
I’m proud of you.
I’m proud when you give things a go, (regardless the result).
I’m proud when you stand up for yourself.
I’m proud when you stand up for others.
I’m proud when I hear you counselling/helping friends who are anxious, scared or worried.
I’m proud of you when you overcome fears and obstacles to achieve your goals.
I’m proud you set goals.
I’m proud you follow your passions, regardless of what others say.
I’m proud you know who you are and aren’t afraid to be exactly that, you.
I’m proud you rise above negativity and leave it behind.
I’m proud you choose to use humour, your brains and your heart.
I’m proud of your accomplishments because I know how hard you work to achieve them.
I’m proud when you are elected to school leaderships positions, but I’m more proud of you putting yourself out there, having initiative, being brave, giving it a go, and in one of your cases overcoming a fear of public speaking to do so. Regardless the result.
I’m proud when I get reports cards that state you are valued members of your class – not because of what a test tells us but because you volunteer to help, show respect to others, you step up, you show initiative, and you shine as YOU.
I’m proud when you get good grades because I know how hard you worked for them, and it gives you opportunities, now and in the future.
But most of all, I’m proud to be your mum, because you are you, a kind hearted human being with hope in your eyes, ambition in your bones and dreams in your hearts. You are you.
I am your biggest supporter. I will be proud of you all of your life, not for what you do but for who you are.
Parents, don’t be afraid to be proud of your kids, and especially don’t be afraid to let them know just how proud of them you are. Not for what they do, but who they are. (And definitely celebrate the successes and achievements too, they all combine to make them who they are). #proud #proudmum Teach them to be proud of themselves and their friends. Real self esteem. Real self confidence. Let’s build it together.
Office supply shops are doing their biggest trade of the year. Shoe shops are inundated. Socks are flying off the racks. “omg what is that smell’ has been found, in the bottom of someone’s school back from 6 weeks ago! Yep, it’s the lead up to back to school which means just one more week of school holidays *insert sad face*.
Which brings me to my question, how many memories did you and yours create these holidays?
We created some big ones. Master 8’s first ever plane ride (which was part of a work junket). Kids spending time with one of the most amazeballs people in the world in Townsville. Checking out beaches, rock pools and anywhere to keep cool. Spending Christmas with my brother and his family at mums and her pool and ocean breezes! A midnight to 6am road trip to get to Mums! Lots of memories created. Most were free or very low cost. All included lots of laughs, jokes, fun and of course the occasional tired tanty (often by me!!). Then there were the high cost events we did that were great memory makers such as taking the kids to speedway for my birthday! A trip to the movies with recliner seats and all the bells and whistles, popcorn and treats. (Almost had to sell a kidney for that one!).
One of the big tricks I use to keeping costs down is at the start of each week or holiday I give the kids a lump sum of money, they can spend that any way they like but once it’s gone it’s gone. If there’s anything left over it’s theirs to spend. This is when you see them making smart choices, learning to budget and prioritise, and it saves me a small fortune. Highly recommend it. Eg when we went to Townsville for the week I paid for them to visit Magnetic Island and they had an additional $80 for the six days we were there for the movies, lunches, outings they’d do with Aunty Jarrxi. They all came home with money! Jax wondered why they were so grateful when she bought them all an ice-cream at the movies hehehe.
Memories are created from people who love each other spending time together doing things they enjoy. That’s what makes a great holiday and lifetime memories, not the cost. I hope whatever you did you enjoyed it and I”d love to hear what you did to create memories with yours these holidays. Still a week left to create more……
aka Jo xo
Years ago I read about the chore game. If a kid says I’m bored they have to do a chore. I’ve taken it a step further with the declutter the room because let’s face it rare is the child or teen whose room does not need a good declutter.. even if it was done two weeks ago!
The rules are simple. At the start of the holidays you let them know the rules. For every “I’m bored” you are confined to your bedroom (without devices or gadgets or any of the good stuff) but with a garbage bag. Your pass out is that bag full of either rubbish or a charity bag of no longer used nor loved items. This is a parental win win.
Whatever you and yours do these holidays, have a brilliant time.
If you know someone who’s teens can’t do a thing for themselves or someone with preteens please let them know about our FREE Ebook available at: http://mentormumma.gr8.com/
And if you’re not part of our Facebook group yet come on over to Parenting Teens with Mentor Mumma (for Preteens and earlier too) .
Have fun making memories these school holidays,
oh PS I’ve started a business course with Leonie Dawson and become an affiliate for her so if you’re interested check out her Shining Biz and Life Academy if not have a great week xo
It’s school holidays here in Queensland. Most parents love them. The lack of routine. The sleep ins. The bonding and memory making times. I’m one of those parents who love them. I don’t schedule any clients during one week of the holidays and am very conscious to be mindful, present and totally connected to the kids. OMG the laughs we have, over the stupidest things.
These holidays I managed to score a really good deal on Wotif.com so we’re off to the Gold Coast for three days of living in luxury. This time last year we went camping at Noosa North Shores in tents. The year before we did a road trip to Mums in Harvey Bay.
Whatever you’re doing have the best time making memories with your kids. Before we know it they’ll be off creating memories without us!
Here’s my 6 top no to low cost holiday options with preteens and teens:
Whatever you choose to do, make some amazing memories. Feel free to share them on our Facebook group
If you haven’t received your FREE copy of Thirteen things to teach your kids before they turn 13 then click here for yours .
Happy holidays, all. Stay safe. Make memories.
Jo and the Mentor Mumma family