Mentor Mumma

05/02/2017

Let’s teach our kids to dream…

Teaching our kids to dream keeps us dreaming too.

Kit turned 15 last week. When she was four I took her, Charz, and my two nieces to Disney on Ice. There they fell in love with Disney and Kit was especially enamoured. I declared then that before they reached adulthood I’d take them to Disneyland.

Life happens. Time passes and before you know it your cute little 4 year old is 15 and in grade 10. Last year I decided WE WOULD make the family trip to Disneyland happen.

The video attached shows their reaction when we I ‘told’ them in my own way.

Fast forward to 2:07 for THE reaction. VIDEO HERE

 

Fourteen weeks on Tuesday we head to Los Angeles where that decade long dream will come true!

So how did we make it happen?

We had a dream.

We set goals. Me for the main budget and the kids have a goal each of $US500 to save for anything other than transport, accommodation, main meals and entry tickets they want. They are all well on target and Miss 15 has blown that goal out of the water and has moved on to saving for her car. Did I mention we leave in 14 weeks! OMG so excitement plus.

Teaching kids to dream, set goals and put plans in motion teaches them that they can do pretty much whatever they want in life WHEN they put in the hard work required and do the mind (mental) work required. We have this picture on the back of the toilet door:

Kids absorb far more than you realise. They are little sponges. Dan sees this every time he goes to the toilet. At footy training this week he quoted it back to me in the middle of an every day conversation. Don’t underestimate what a child with a dream can achieve when they are given the tools to set .an
d make plans.

Top tips on getting kids started on dreaming and setting goals:
1. Have them come up with something they would like to do.
2. Help them set goals/steps of how they’re going to get there.
3. Encourage them to get started actually DOING the steps required.
4. Place positive affirmations reinforcing their dream and their ability to achieve it around the house (Toilet door is perfect, captivated audience there).
4. Celebrate successes. And if they fall short, teach them to reflect on what went wrong, adjust goals and start DOING again.
5. Have them do a vision board..that’s another topic but is awesome. Have you got one? If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it! Just sayin…

This is one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids, but also ourselves.

This isn’t just for teens, it’s for kindergarten right through primary school too.

Have you forgotten your dreams? Lead by example.

If you haven’t joined our Facebook Group then please do so and you can follow our families journey for the family trip of a lifetime HERE

I”m playing with changing our name to: Parenting Australia or Parenting with Mentor Mumma. Which do you prefer?

Love
Mentor Mumma
aka Jo

22/01/2017

Bully proof your kids…

Here’s Ten tips to help bully proof our kids.
Unfortunately, bullies and bitches still exist in the playgrounds (and real life).
They’re a fact of life.
So rather than pretend it’ll never happen to our kids we need to prepare them on how to deal with those who would treat them badly, harass or even hurt them.
We need to teach our kids it’s okay to ‘dob’, it’s important to tell mum (or Dad). We need to encourage conversation (There’s a saying that goes along the lines of “Listen to all their stories so when they’re older they’ll tell you the important stuff because to them it was all important”).

Here’s some tips to help your kid/s navigate bullies and bitches:

1. Teach your kids NOT to be a victim. Bullying says everything about the bully and nothing about the person being bullied. Teach them that them being bullied is about the bully having issues, and is not their fault.

2. Teach them to have the confidence to speak to the bully if they feel safe enough to. Often times calling out a bully and their behaviour is enough to stop it. Making the bully accountable for their actions and words helps. Teach them to speak up, to seek help and call the bully out for their horrid behaviour.

3. Remove the reaction. Bullies thrive on reactions, fear and intimidation. If you can teach your child not to react, not to enter into bully banter, not reply to any communication from the bully then the bully has already begun to lose ground. This is especially so for social media. Teach your kids to block bullies on all forms so they can’t message your child.

4. If bullying moves to physical abuse or sharing photos of your child/teen online then it’s time to involve the authorities. Teach kids about the difference between teasing, harassing, bullying and criminal activity. If it’s happening at school that should be your first port of call but if there’s no resolution there then contacting the local police is paramount.

5. Being bullied is extremely stressful. Teach your child de-stressing techniques such as meditation, journalling, deep breathing etc.

6. Most importantly listen to your child. Hear their fears and equip them with the right arsenal to counter bullies and bitches. For some it might involve learning self defense, for others it might be about teaching them to speak up and to the offender, for others it might involve changing classes.. every situation is different. Whatever you do don’t ignore it and hope it will go away, be proactive and teach your kids to do the same.

7. If the parent of the bully is known to you you can try talking to the parent. Usually best if on neutral territory with a third party if you think there’ll be denial or issues. We all want to believe our kids are the best in the world and at times finding out our child is causing others pain can be hard to comprehend and process. ALWAYS verify facts first. This is crucial. Kids lie. Even mine. Even yours. Verify facts first.

8. Instill confidence, a good sense of self and positive body language such as posture and eye contact.

9. Have mock rehearsals where you let your child practice things they’ll say or do to defend themselves and practice various interactions, role play outcomes.

10. Let your child know they are not alone. This is not normal and they do not have to put up with it. EVER!

What do you do when YOUR child is the bully/mean child?

There is a great article here by Linda Stade: HERE

To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Here’s to a great year for everyone in 2017.

Have you joined our Facebook group yet with like minded parents? Come on over we’d love to have you: JOIN HERE

Love

Mentor Mumma
aka Jo

15/01/2017

Back to school: Friendship Tips…

Like minded fun friends who love to laugh

One of the most important parts of 13 years of school is friendships. For some kids forming new friendships and maintaining them is easy. For others it’s a real struggle. Below are 3 practical things I’ve done in the past with my kids that have worked in finding new friends or meeting new class and/or team mates and further down are 10 things to teach your kids to maintain and build friendships.

Firstly though have you joined our Facebook group? IF not come join like minded parents here

If they struggle with meeting new friends here’s 3 practical things I’ve used in the past:

1. Set them daily challenges to meet new people and learn their names. Teach them how to ask questions and be genuinely interested in other people without seeming creepy or stalker.

2. Encourage them to invite other kids home on a regular basis or set up get togethers yourself with other parents. For teens encourage them to take an interest in other people, step outside of their comfort zone and invite people to hang out or do things.

3. Help them write affirmations to repeat twice a day that build their confidence, encourage their friendship making and improve their mental wellbeing.

Here are some tips to help your kids and teens build and maintain friendships

1. Teach them what friendship is by role modelling. Let them see you interacting with your friends. Let them see you laughing, crying, confiding, giving, receiving, listening and just being with your friends. Role modelling is the most powerful training tool.

2. Teach them about forgiveness, conflict resolution and identifying people with intentions that aren’t good for them (toxic people, people drawn to drama, ‘users’, etc). Friendships never go smoothly ever because we’re all human, teach them how to read situations, resolve them and be a good friend as well as expect their friends to do the same.

3. Teach them about being the kind of friend you want your friends to be. If friendship is not reciprocated after a semester then teach them about finding friends who complement them in life and vice versa, finding people who are real friends.

4. Teach them to be confident. Teach them about eye contact and body language. Teach them how to speak to others their age, people older and younger, those in authority and those who sit beside them in class. Teach them social skills.

5. Teach them when friendship fires happen, put water on it, not fuel! This will save them sooo many dramas in life. Dramas only happen when someone reacts or plays along, when ignored they fizzle out super fast. Teach them not to play the ‘blame game’ nor the ‘drama game’.

6. Teach them to include the ‘lonely’ children in the playground when they’re in primary, and in activities, conversations and events when they’re in highschool.

7. Teach them everyone has something to teach them in life – sometimes it’s what to aim for, sometimes it’s who we don’t want to be, sometimes it’s a lesson, sometimes it’s trivia, .. we can all learn something from everyone.

8. Teach them to respect others and themselves. If every person did this what an amazing world we would live in. Also teach them to set boundaries and when disrespected speak up.

9. Teach them ‘we teach people how to treat us’. If you don’t like the way people treat you, look at the messages you’re sending out and speak up for yourself.

10. Confidence is key. Confidence is crucial. Help your child grow in confidence.

The above photos are from my days in highschool. Met some amazing people in highschool that I’m still in contact with (Facebook has helped with that!). Others are of today’s friends and our crazy fun antics (I couldn’t put up the ones where we’re supporting each other through some of the hardest days of our lives, or ones where we’re just being in each others companies so the crazy ones it is … )

Oh and remember, “some people are for a season, some for a reason and others for a lifetime”. Don’t know who said that but I like it!

IF as a parent you find you don’t have many friends try some of the tips above.. we all need friends. Here’s to an amazing year ahead for you and yours.

Love

Mentor Mumma
aka Jo
.